Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all traveling at maximum velocity.
Filed under Animal Jokes, Flight, Work by 
SOME DAYS YOU JUST CAN’T WIN .
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
Filed under "real" life jokes, Drinking Jokes, Work by
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
More on What do retired people do to make their days interesting?
Filed under Wife Jokes, Work by
Irish Tax Audit
The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office.
The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor.
The auditor says, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Paddy. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “Okay. You’re on!”
Paddy says, “I’ll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”
Paddy removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor’s jaw drops.
Paddy says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Paddy isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Paddy removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid, with Paddy’s solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Would you like to go double or nothing?” Paddy asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand pound that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way Paddy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Paddy stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains like hell, he can’t make the stream reach the bin on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
Filed under "real" life jokes, Finance, Work by
Johnny fancied a girl in his office…..but she belonged to someone else…
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said:
I ‘ ll give you a £100 for sex, but the girl said NO.