The Parish Priest’s Chickens
Why you should make sure you think before you speak .
The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.
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The Vicar’s Salary.
The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims: “If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!”
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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. ‘So,how is everything going?’ enquired God. ‘It is all so beautiful, God,’ she replied.
‘The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, Everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,’ reported Eve.
Ace referee Mick McFlurry takes you step by step through a typical Old Firm day for the match referee:
1. Always a bit of a sleepless night, the night before an Old Firm game so I find myself wide awake at 4.30am. Being a man of the cloth I decide to spend some time reading extracts from my bible, particularly the parts about treating others as they treat you and loving thy neighbours.
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