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Doctor call out

June 17th, 2010 Admin No comments

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.

His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues.

‘Johnny!’ Mom screams. ‘Knock it off,’ you’re going to break something.

He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store.

He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge, a diarrhea run.

She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she’s finished, she looks down and can’t believe what she’s seeing.

She’s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.

The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he’ll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP!
The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

“Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?” she asks.

He says, “I’ve been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen a fart!”

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Categories: Kid Jokes, Pranks Jokes Tags:

Tree Hugger

April 2nd, 2010 Admin No comments


When you think your’e having a bad day …………..read this and know that it could have been worse.
Picture  (Device Independent Bitmap)

While walking through Golden Gate Park  in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, “Just out of curiosity, what are you doing?”

“I’m listening to the music of the tree,” the other man replied.

“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“No, would you like to give it a try?”

Understandably curious, the man says, “Well, OK…” So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, watch, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, “What happened to you?”

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, “This just ain’t gonna be your day, cupcake…”

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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

March 22nd, 2010 Admin No comments
Phillip Hewitson, an elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d
left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the
back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?”
He said “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.”
George said, “Okay.”
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot them.” and he hung up.
Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Hewitson`s’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to Phillip, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
Phillip said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”
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Sound of Music | Central Station Antwerp (Belgium)

April 23rd, 2009 Admin No comments

 

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Categories: "real" life jokes, Pranks Jokes Tags:

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods

September 13th, 2008 Admin No comments

Two  Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.

 

All  of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small  cave.

‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ he called into the cave and  listened closely until he heard an answering,

 

‘Wooooo!  Wooooo! Woooooo!

 

He  then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was  puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.

 

‘Was  the other Indian crazy or what?’

The Indian replied ‘No, It is our  custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler  

 

‘Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means  there’s a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they  came upon another cave.

 

The  second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,

 

‘Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!’

 

Immediately,  there was the answer.

 

‘Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!’ from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and  ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods  alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.

 

As  he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,  

 

‘Hoo,  man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians  found.

 

There  must be some really big, fine women in this cave!’

He stood in  front of the opening and hollered with all his might

 

‘Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!’ Like the others, he then heard an answering call,  ‘WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!’

 

With  a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing  off his clothes as he ran.

 

The  following day, the headline of the local newspaper  read……………

 NAKED  IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY  TRAIN

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