The story is allegedly true. The scene is a Glasgow court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD)
AD ‘You say you went to your friends house that night. Why did you go?there?’
Filed under "real" life jokes, Law, Scottish by 
The Brothel (in Winnipeg)
The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
‘May I help you sir?’ she asked.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
The International Council of Man Laws.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.