Funny Clean Jokes

April 8, 2011

PC Joke

Apparently it’s no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so try this one:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.

Laugh He Feinted

Skinny little Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: ’7 feet tall, 350 Pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.’

From the catalogue

Two IRISH MEN were looking at a
> Mail order catalogue and admiring the models.
>
>
>
> One says to the other,
> ‘Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?’
>
> The second one replies,
> ‘Yes, they are very beautiful.
> And look at the price!’
> The first one says, with wide eyes,
> ‘Wow, they aren’t very expensive.
> At this price, I’m buying one.’
> The second one smiles and pats him on the back.
> ‘Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful
> As she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.’
> Three weeks later,
> The youngest redneck IRISHMAN asks his friend,
> ‘Did you ever receive the girl you ordered
> From the catalogue?’
> The second IRISHMAN replies……
>

Men are like….

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ….. They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas .. The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather .. Nothing can be done to change them.

A Wee Joke

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were an English guy, a Scottish bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.