THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
Filed under Drinking Jokes by 
An ugly bird in a boozer says,”If you guess my weight you can fuck me all night.”
He says, ” About 93 stone you fat cunt.”
She says, “Thats close enough you lucky bastard.”
Filed under Drinking Jokes, Men, Sex, Women by
A guy takes his girlfriend home to meet his parents but he tells her “I must warn you they are both deaf and dumb.”
They walk into the living room to see his mum has a beer bottle up her fanny and the dad is sitting there with his nuts out and a match stick proping one eye open.
Filed under Drinking Jokes, Family by
Only a Scot could think of this …. from Glasgow, where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a pub in Glasgow. After last orders the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the carpark for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
Filed under Drinking Jokes, Driving, Scottish by
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.
Mick, the bartender says, ‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight
Paddy. Paddy replies, ‘OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.’
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his
face. ‘Shoite’ he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his
face, ‘Shoite, Shoite!’
Filed under Drinking Jokes, Men by