During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington”
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital
Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven’t seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other through a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.
Rachel arrives first and orders a bottle of chilled Chablis. Clare enters a few minutes later and after hugs and kisses, she joins Rachel in a glass of Chablis.
Then Sam walks in wearing a faded anorak, blue jeans and Wellington boots. She too shares the wine.
Rachel explains that after leaving school and graduating from Oxford in Classics, she met and married Timothy with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London ’s leading law firms. They live in a penthouse in North London where their daughter attends drama school. They have a second home in the hills above Monte Carlo .
Clare says she graduated from King’s College and became a Consultant Gynaecologist. Her husband Clive is a leading A&E Consultant. They live in a large detached house in Dulwich and have a second home in Florida .
Sam tells them that she left school at seventeen and ran off with her boyfriend Ben. They run a tropical bird park in Norfolk and grow their own vegetables. Ben can stand five canaries side by side on his willy.
Half way through the third bottle of Chablis, Rachel blurts out that her husband isn’t Timothy he’s Tom and he’s a clerk for Islington Council. They live in a terraced house in Muswell Hill and keep a caravan in France .
Clare, chastened and encouraged by her friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses in King’s College. They live in Herne Hill and have a timeshare in Orlando .
Samantha admits that the fifth canary has to stand on one leg
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, ‘Wella, I’va tried to treat her nicea, spenda DA money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for da 25th anniversary!’
The priest responded, ’Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?’
Giuseppe proudly replied, ” Ima gonna go pick her up.”
Went to a charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs, dance floor was crawling with fanny.
Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ……do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America ……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ……….do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..
Only in America …..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER …
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)…in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
Spread the Stupidity!
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A
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